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I’ve got place…

11 Dec

I’ve got places in my head, mostly houses full of memories and past history, that I want to write about one day. I would like to see them for real, touch their walls and know the stories of each room and each wall. I would like to know the lives and personalities of the people who lived in those houses and the agenda of every visitor who entered their doors. I would like to spend a very nice afternoon in the patios and balconies or read a book beside the windows or dream on its couches and beds. I wonder what life would be like in those houses. I wonder how it would be like to live those lives.These houses in my head, the people that live in them and memories that haunt its room might not be real but having them in my head is enough.

I’ve got many places, people and stories that I want to write about one day and somehow, I hope they won’t remain just stories in my head.




God wants to give you your dream.

27 Jun

More than you want your dreams to come true, God wants your dream to come true for His glory.

Dreamers, listen to this. ^_^


God, I need You more.

23 Jun

“God, You told me that You listen to every heartbeat and delight hearing them. But I need You more. I need You more than the next heartbeat.”

Thesis, I have a big GOD!

19 Jun

Father God,

I’m only starting to think of a topic, something I know I would love to work on and at the same time something relevant. Already, Lord, my mind is all over the place. So, as I start on this journey, I give You my thesis. I bring it to Your feet. I refuse to worry about it. I’ll just work on it and give You all the glory. I know You are a trustworthy God. I can’t wait to see You work on this. I give You all the glory and praise. In Jesus Name. Let Your will be done.

With all my love,

Your beloved

A Picture of What I Pray for my Future Family

18 Jun


I refuse to reach out to get what I think I want because I realized what I really want is God’s desire for me.

I wait not for him but for Him because I know He’ll be my real satisfaction and my greatest love.

I know I’ll be delighted to finally see him, as he smiles and waits for me in the aisle. I know he’ll also be happy, as I walk the aisle and come to be with him. But we’ll be happier to know that God is smiling at both of us as we please Him even in our love story.

18 Jun

In the simplest thoughts, when we truly delight in God, He will be our only desire.

He created us for Him in His image so apart from God, there is no real satisfaction.

10.. 9.. 8..

31 May

I just had dinner. Fresh lumpia with scrambled egg on top. It didn’t taste like what Ilona and I used to eat together often but it was good. It reminded me of the inevitable. It reminded me that my days here are numbered.

I know that once I got on that bus, it will never be the same again. I know I’m such a drama queen. Still, I know I won’t return the same Ruth or to the same Nasugbu, to the same family and to the same church. I won’t be there when my sister return home from school. There will be days I won’t be atttending Sunday Services, band practices or prayer meetings. I won’t be there when they again and again laugh about a joke or a blooper. I won’t be seeing sis. Fe’s and kuya Pedring’s smile for a while. I won’t be having heart to heart talks with some of the girls I really cared about.

Soon enough, my brother will have to leave just like my father did. He’ll be thinking of more grown-up stuff like documents and salaries. Soon enough, I’ll also graduate. Well, after a lot of work on my thesis. Soon enough, I’ll be thinking of documents and salaries too. *sigh* The future can be scary.

But for now, I will miss going to different places to teach children. I will miss seeing them worshiping God, praying and paying attention to the Word of God. I will miss meeting my beloved co-teachers. I will miss eating with them. I will miss their laughter and their smiles. I will miss waking up in my bed and thinking that I should hurry and make myself a cup of coffee before my mom and my sister get up or else my quiet time will be ruined. I will miss simply sitting down and listen to my grandma and my mom’s arguments and making up my mind that I won’t grow up like them. ^_^ I will miss them always asking me to do things for them and the many worried advice about anything under the sun they give me. I will miss not thinking about anything but just spending the day. I will miss a lot of things.

The past two months had been painful but I was happy and grateful. God taught me and made me realized a lot of things. I learned with tears. I enjoyed with laughter. Sometimes, vice versa. He showed me what sin is and how He hates it. He showed me I’m free from any circumstance, any emotion, any past experience, any criticism. I’m free to live for Him. He showed me that I’m still not the kind of person He wants me to be, still not the sister, daughter, granddaughter or friend that He wants me to be but it’s okay. I’m on the process. He showed me my true desires that He assured me He gave me.

Most of all, He reminded me that He’s here. He’s with me. Just as He had been the past 19 years of my life. Life is experienced by season. And this season of my life is almost over. I can feel it. But the most important thing is He is with me. I saw Him working through everything. I saw Him making sense of every non-sense thing in my life. I praise Him for who He is. He is a jealous God. I praise Him that He is preparing me to be perfect for Him. He wants every area of my life. He wants every part of who I am. He wants my relationships, my heart, my mind. Some of us may think that He’s a scary Dictator. But not me. I mean, who am I for Him to want to know me? Who am I for Him to love me? I can sense His smile, His laughter, His grace, His good heart everyday of this life. The past 19 years of my life had been wonderful and beautiful because of Him. The future may be scary but I’m not going there alone. God is by my side. No matter what happens, He’s there with me.

Only for Him

10 May

While I was reading Unlimiting God by Richard Blackaby, I encountered a very wonderful description of the intimacy God and Moses shared. Such intimacy is something to be envied. And yet, God didn’t allow Moses to enter the promised land. We know God is merciful. We know He is gracious. Yet, He didn’t allow Moses to see the completion of his life’s work. It will leave you wondering.

Of course, God is still sovereign. Our finite minds can’t completely understand His infinite wisdom and His perfect will. ¬†What if we didn’t see what God sees in Moses’ heart?

We can read how Moses obeyed God, how he faced the most powerful ruler during those times, how the Red Sea didn’t stop him but when God told him that he will not enter Canaan, he pleaded and asked God to change his mind not just once. Our desires are powerful tools. It can bring us closer to God but once spoiled, it will be our downfall.

Still, I praise God for the ending of Moses’ story. His story showed a jealous God. He prepares us only for Him.